After Love - VinSeop :Part 7:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH-FUUUUUUUUU, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-FUUUUUUUU, AHHHHHHH-FUUUUUUUUUUUUU
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I'm so... tired... of... running... Damn... I think I've been running for at least ten minutes straight, woah, I've never ran such a long distance in my whole life. (I'm so pro, I should be an athlete. HELL YEAH !)

But I should still go away as far as possible before Xander finds me (he said he was going to look for me... I told that bastard to LEAVE. ME. ALONE. UGH !) So I'll keep on escaping, even if I'm pretty much half-dead by now.

AHHHHHHHH-FUUUUUUUUUU AHHHHHHHHH-FUUUUUUUUU AHHHHHHHHHHHHH-FUUUUUUUUUU I'M GOING TO LITTERALLY DIE OH MY GOD !!!!!!

― "Kiseoppie !"

Oh---
Wait. I must be hallucinating. I guess I'm so tired my brain doesn't know how to work... Even if that happens all the time. No but, woah, I'm so exhausted I'm hearing voices. THERE'S A PROBLEM !

― "KISEOPPIE !!!!" I turned around just in case.

Oh crap. Oh man. Oh fuck.
There goes Xander... What's he doing here... why !? I thought I asked him to leave me alone. LEAVE. ME. ALONE. He doesn't understand a thing, doesn't he ? UUUGGGHH !

My legs gained speed unsuccessfully, seeing that Alexander was already catching up to me really quickly. Dude runs extremely fast, yes / yes ?

― "AH !", I let out a surprised scream as I felt someone wrapping their arms around me; it was Xander, of course. "What the !? Let go of me, goddammit !"
― "No !" He held me tighter. "If I let you go, you'll run away."

I flailed my arms around and kept on screaming. (like it would actually help in some way, hello I am a retarded person)

― "Calm down, Kiseoppie ! Just listen to me, will you !"
― "Ugh..." I sighed heavily, then asked, "What do you want !?"
― "I know you're probably not going back on your decision... I know it might be personal and everything, but can you please explain why you're leaving ?"

Um...
Not really ? Please try again next time (in a million years).

― "What's bothering you so much that makes you want to... Give up on everything ?"
― "None of your--"
― "Please, Kiseoppie. I want to help you."

I was going to yell, "SHUT UP WHEN I'M TALKING" but then I realized... That's not really polite...

― "It's Kevin." I blinked a few times, trying to stop the tears from coming out of my eyes. "He loves... Eli." And I fell into Alexander's arms (which was completely unintentional).
― "You can't go away just because of--"
― "Xander, you can't stop me. You said you wanted me to be happy, and I think that's how I am going to be happy."
― "You're wrong, running away will only make you depressed. Trust me."
― "How do you know ?"
― "From experience..."

Oh okay.
So he tried to run away ? Oh wait, no, he DID run away. Oh my god. Okay.

― "So you--"
― "XANDER-HYUUUUUUUNG !!!! I (pant) told you to (pant) wait for (pant) me..." I looked over Alexander's shoulder; it was Kevin, who, I think, was finally catching up on his hyung, or at least that's what I guessed. Anyway, they were probably both chasing me at the same time (which is extremely douchy). "You know I can't run really fast !"
― "Yeah, I'm sorry, but this was kind of important..."

While the brunette's attention wasn't going towards me, I tried to escape from his arms holding me against him.

Result : Failure.

― "Kiseoppie ! Don't you dare try to leave me again."
― "But there's--"
― "No, you're staying."
― "XANDER !!!"

Idiot.
Bastard.
Douchebag.
Wanker.
Motherfucker.
And I can't stop swearing because, dammit, he doesn't seem to understand anything. Sigh.

Let. Me. Go. You. Stupid. Bastard.

Yeah, I won't say it out loud because #1. I want to stay polite and #2. It'll probably come out as "YOU CRAZY BITCH, LET ME THE HELL GO, YEAH I FUCKED YOUR MOM--" No. Let's just stay... Non-vulgar. Yeah. Keep it nice and cleeeeeeaaaaaaan. No need to make my thoughts become 18+. (I know thoughts don't have a rating, but just in case a new law comes in where we have to rate what goes on our minds, yeah, my parents would kill me if I were rated R. You see, they expect me to be... PG. Yeah. No, they want me to be G. Or EISITIDKASWOSRT, for "Extremely innocent, so innocent that I don't know any swear words or sex-related things".)

Innocent Kiseop. Kiseop the innocent. As innocent as Kiseop.

Kiseop the player. Kiseop the village bicycle. (Hahahaha, I don't know either)

… Both personalities sound weird to me. What am I ?

Kiseop is a weird person. Kiseop is mysterious. Kiseop is different.

Nevermind. Whatever.

― "May I ask you a question, Kiseop ?" This was asked by Kevin.

Can he stop being so perfect ? See how he asked this !? "May I". Not "Can I". May I. He's so polite, nice, kind, calm, somewhat silly and dorky, peaceful, and if that's not enough, he... He has the looks to go with it. He's cute. No, he's beautiful, he is truly beautiful. The first thing you notice when you look at him is his sweet, innocent smile that never seems to disappear.

But I don't care about looks. Yes, I did get attracted to him by his wonderful face, but then I got to know him better. At first, it was lust, and now, I'm pretty sure it's love... And if you love someone, you'll love them for their personalities, not their looks. (or else it seems like you just want to fuck them)

Aaaaaand I guess I'm lucky I've kissed someone who has both. (And, right here, we insert an arrogant wink and smirk. Eat this, pigeon face !)

― "Uh... Sure.", I finally confirmed as I felt tears stinging my eyes (for absolutely no reason, I'm such a crybaby).

News of the day : Kiseop is actually five years old and cries all the time. SOB SOB CRY CRY.

― "What's happening with you ? Is there something wrong ? Is it my fault ? Just... why ?"

Why what ?

― "No, it's... Pathetic."
― "I'm sure it isn't."
― "I tell you... It is. It really is." (Included in this sentence : Snort snort sob sob cry more you loser, I'm socially awkward and I want to run away right now.) "Kevin... Do you mind talking about this somewhere else ?"
― "As you wish. I want to sit down, really..."

Alexander and I followed Kevin towards a Subway's restaurant-- HMMMMMMMMMMMM. SUBWAAAAAAAAY'S. Currently drooling. Ah, if only I had some money, right now... I think I would've just bought a shitload of cookies (oh my gosh those cookies. They're delicious) and went home to eat them. Cookies ALWAYS make your mood better... Right ?

We finally stepped inside and sat at a table somewhere near the windows. I mentally sighed as I sat on a chair.

― "Xander, you can go...", I said. "I don't want you to skip school again because of me."
― "Not until you've explained why you tried to leave."
― "You skipped school !?", Kevin yelled like it was the most shocking and / or offensive thing ever. "How come ?"
― "It was my fault...", I admitted as I banged my forehead on the table in shame.

Yeah, it was quite embarrassing.
Back then, on the 11th of February, it was like, "normal", that I felt depressed about Kevin loving Eli. And now... I'm like a total loser. (but it still pisses me off) And I laugh at myself. Tears turn into laughs and laughs turn into tears... I've heard this somewhere a few months ago. Whatever. Has nothing to do. Who cares.

Hey... Is it me or everything I say just doesn't make any sense at all ? I'm very socially awkward, yeah. (Thanks, captain obvious ?)

― "W-what happened ?"

… Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Hopefully, Xander will explain for me. (not in the mood to #1. Think of bad memories and #2. make a fool of myself)

And he did. (THANK GOD)
Alexander explained why I made him skip school, while I was obviously ignoring him (reasons said previously).

Seriously, I don't know if it's just me, but it seems like everyone tries to embarrass me on purpose. My parents are a very good example, especially when they talk about my childhood. "Do you remember when--" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Do NOT bring this up. Thank you. And then, there's Kibum who (grrr) said (grrr) that (grrr) I (grrr) was (grrr) gay (grrr). And EVERYONE heard him. I'm not homophobic (since I am gay myself), but that kind of stuff is personal. Not everybody is tolerant towards gay people, so Kibum could've just ruined my reputation... (If I even had one in the first place) And of course, we also have my own life who decides to mess with my social abilities quite frequently.

It's hard being socially awkward, kids. This is from an expert in the task. (by "task", I mean "complete torture that ruins your life forever")

Seriously, if I got paid for this, I'd be a millionaire ! I'd be even more rich than Canada or one of those rich countries. I could be my own country, Seopland ! Or Kiland...  Woooooooooooooooooh !

Or, even better, I could just like... Stay human ? Anyway, becoming a country is waaaaay too complicated. There's too much responsibilities. Hmmm. Plus, I don't want to turn into a second version of Alexander and his Xanderland bullshit. That guy is great, but sometimes, I just can't understand him.

When I was a kid, I wanted to become a secret agent. But then, my mother told me it wasn't a job. I was depressed for weeks.

Conclusion : I really, REALLY need to learn how to make the right choices. I want to have jobs that don't exist, then I think about being my own country and worst of all... I want someone I can't have. Yeah... Oh hey, I'm emo again. But it still pisses me off. (From now on, I will forever hate pigeons (or birds in general, just in case, even though I would be discriminating other kinds of birds. It's not their fault if pigeons are dumb ! This is so unfair. Pigeons, why are you so stupid ?))

To add in to-do-list : Stop hating Eli, because seriously, I don't have any good reasons to hate him. He's funny, he's ((good-looking)) and he has a ((sexy voice)).

… KIND OF. KIND OF. ((Actually, I'm just being a hypocrite. Eli's really sexy, and gosh, look at those hairflips. Waaaaaaaay better than Bieber's.))

Nahhh, not really. I'm exaggerating. He's not that hot. He's okay.

― "So Kiseop cried just because of me !?" Kevin sort of waked me up by yelling this; I jumped up in my seat. "I can't believe it... I'm a terrible person..." He slapped his forehead as he said those words almost like a sigh.
― "No, but he almost did.", Alexander corrected him. "I could see his eyes getting watery."

Kevin turned around to look at me (he's sitting next to me) and made an apology.

― "I didn't know you loved me so much..." Well it's about time you realize, huh ? "I know those are just words and they can't erase what I did, but I just want to say I'm sorry, so sorry... I didn't mean to hurt you. I really didn't..." Then he fell on my shoulder, barely even able to finish his sentence as he let tears falling down his eyes furiously.
― "Kevin ! Please Kevin, no... Don't cry, it's not your fault." I wrapped my arms around his small frame and massaged his back slowly, trying to relax him.

Aaaaaaand then we have it again.

By "it", I'm talking about the image of a happy Kevin smiling non-stop, laughing to everything even if the joke wasn't funny, turning into a weak and depressed Kevin. I've seen it twice, and both times were too much. Looking at this is like a torture for the eye. It's even worse than someone trying to remove it using their fingers only. (OOOOUUUUUUUCCCCCCCHHHH !!!!! I just pictured that in my head, not only it makes me want to puke but it sure must hurt like a bitch ! Oh god !)

Xander leaned down on us and whispered,

― "I'm gonna go... I don't feel like this really concerns me anyway, so yeah. Bye, be strong, both of you." He smiled at us as he walked out after we said "bye" to him too.

― "Did you really hate Eli ?", Kevin asked.
― "Umm... No." Yes. "I think I was just jealous that you love him instead of me." I'm blushing at my own words. Damn, I'm such a hypocrite... But then again, it STILL and it will always piss me off. "Kevin, please, for god's sake, stop crying... It's killing me."

He wiped off his eyes using the collar of my shirt, soaking it in tears.

― "I've always tried to make people feel better, bring them happiness... And all I did was making someone suffer..." He cried even more, it was horrible to see him like this. "Hey... Kiseop ?"
― "Yes ?"
― "This is extremely cheesy, but I think I fell in love with... your love."
― "What do you mean ?", I asked for explanation as I was stroking his silky golden hair.

Everyone, for god's sake, stop using cheesy love quotes like this. Because, really, to be quite honest, NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THEM. They just pretend that "ohhhh it's sweet" because they want to look smart. By the way, I'm not pessimistic, I'm just realistic.

― "As much as I love Eli, he just can't give this back to me... but you can. I feel loved when I'm with you, it's something I've never felt before..."

Woah. Wait. Stop. Hammertime.
HE NEVER GOT LOVED BEFORE !!?!?!?!? He's saying I'm the first one to be madly in love with him !? That is just impossible. I mean, just look at him. It's impossible not to fall for this. Or maybe I'm just weird. (I think Hyoyeon from SNSD is beautiful while everybody thinks she's ugly, so... yeah...) Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm weird.

― "And you're such a dork. It's cute, I like it." Oh hey, I'm a dork. And it's cute. CUTE. Apparently. "I remember when you asked me out on a date... You were stuttering and you looked so shy... It was adorable."

That's when I started blushing like crazy. I swear, I'm sure my face is so red the employees at Subway's could think I'm a tomato and use me in a sandwich.

Seriously, it must suck a lot to be an ingredient in a sandwich. You're stuck between two pieces of bread with many other kinds of weird stuff, barely even able to breathe, and then... You get eaten by a complete stranger. Tragedy. Oh but that's not the worst part ! Oh no no no ! Because, after that, you turn into shit. And yeah. Ew.

So, to make a long story short, a sandwich life sucks and I have to stop blushing before I turn into a tomato.

Kevin looked up and stare at my red face and giggled as he exclaimed,

― "Hahahaha ! You're blushing~"
― "N-no. It's because i-it's very h-hot in h-here. S-seriously." I am the best liar that has ever existed. (I am of course being sarcastic, here) "C-come on."
― "I'm freezing."

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. He's like... shivering and stuff. And his hands are so cold...

― "D-do you want my hoodie ?" Mental face-slap ! I'm SUCH an idiot ! There's nothing under my hoodie. What the heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell. It would be embarrassing to end up shirtless in a restaurant, I mean, I don't have Bi Rain's body, y'know.

Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin. Drooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool. Those aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabs.

― "Hmmm." A relaxed sigh escaped his lips quietly as he buried his nose in my neck. "You're so warm... And you smell good."

But I didn't even put any perfume... Oh well.

I held him tightly against me and massaged his arm, trying to warm him up.

― "Um... Y-you can get uhhh... C-closer... uh..." Come on brain, did you forget how to speak or what.
― "Hahahahahaha !" He moved moved his chair closer to mine, still cuddling with me. "I like it when you're shy. It's cute."

Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff. How can being shy look "cute" ? It's a TORTURE. I mean, when you try to say something but you can't, just because you're too afraid you'll sound like a complete retard (and that's usually what you, or at least I end up being) ? Hate it. I wish I could sing Go Away, by 2NE1, to my social awkwardness / shyness / whatever you crazy kids call it these days. (I like talking like an old person, it makes me look more mature)

Oh and yeah, it's soooooo freakin' adorable to hear someone st-st-st-stutter. (sarcastic, of course)

― "Kevin... You stopped crying. Thank you."
― "Thank you for making me feel better with your... dork-ness."
― "Pffffff ! Hahahaha !"

Hnnnnggg stop it, you're making me blush. (Oh and, "dork-ness" is not a word. But I have to admit I invent words too. Kevin and I could (SHOULD) re-invent the English language !)

Kevin peacefully closed his eyes and rested his head on my shoulder as he breathed out a sigh of comfort. Ahhhh... He's so pretty.

― "You're tired ?"
― "Hmmm... yeah.", he responded with a sleepy voice.

I don't want to sound like a pervert, but that almost sounded like a moan. Hmmm~ That feels so good... Ahh~ HAHAHAHAHA OKAY, NO. NOOOOOOO. Kevin is way to innocent to think about that kind of stuff.

Dear mom and dad, sorry I can't keep my sanity, but damn I'm seventeen for god's sake. P.S. : I knew what the "that's what she said" jokes were all about since I was ten. I can't believe you did that kind of joke in front of a young child, you are the worst parents ever. Seriously.

― "Vinnie ?"

OOPS.

Oh god why, WHY. I gave him a cheesy nickname. But I swear, IT WAS COMPLETELY UNINTENTIONAL. I DIDN'T MEAN IT.

― "Are you asleep ?"

Still waiting for an answer. Wow, he was really tired, huh... He's already sleeping. Like an angel. (Cheesy mode : Activated)

Instead of just standing there, I might as well take him home... except I can't remember where he lives. Crap. I'm sort of screwed, huh... I guess I can bring him back at my place and let him sleep in my bed.

Woah, that sounded dirty ! Forget what I said. Woaaaaaaaaah. I knew I was secretly a pervert... Nooooooooooooooooooooooo ! My parents will forever hate me.

I took Kevin's coat and put his arms in the sleeves; damn, I never knew putting a coat on someone else would be so difficult. (new reason why I don't want children) Then I took the sleeping blonde boy in my arms in... uh... I don't know how to describe it, anyway, I gave him a piggyback ride.

~ ~ ~

I'm becoming a bad person (even if I already were a bad person). I've skipped school twice in less than two months, which is something I never thought I would do, and I had those... dreams. And uh... let's say I don't want to talk about it. I'm becoming a perveeeeeert ! (crying, right now) Plus, I kissed a guy  (well, actually, that's wrong in my parents' opinion. That's right, THEY HATE FAAAAAAAAAAAGS. God hates faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaags. Apparently. Anyway, if my parents ever knew I had a crush on a dude, they would throw rocks at me, remove my nails by hand, burn my skin, pull out my hair one by one, shove needles in my eyes, to make it shorter, they would kill me. That's why I hate my parents. How can I tell them who I really am if they can't accept it ?)

Anyway, that's not important.

Kevin's sleeping under the blankets in my bed and because I'm a creeper, I got in bed just to see him at peace, hohohohoho cheesy mode got on again. (Fuck cheesiness) I eventually fell asleep next too him. I think it was the best sleep I've ever had... And I woke up before him. Gosh, he must be tired as hell... Did he get any rest last night or what !?

Although I'm really worried. I don't know what Kevin's dreaming about, but when I woke up, he was crying his eyes out.

― "Kevin ?"

I shook him, but it didn't work. The tears were still flowing; his mind was still unawakened.

― "KEVIN !"
― "K-Kiseop !?" His eyes opened in shock.
― "What--"
― "You're here !"

Huh ?

― "Oh my gosh, you're here..." He pulled me into a big, tight hug and cried even more. "Thank god you're here..."
― "Is everything okay ?"
― "I had this dream where you were gone... Well, I don't know if it was you or someone else, it was weird."
― "Don't worry, I'm still here... No one left, so there's no need to panic." I wiped his eyes off clean with the back of my hand. "Stop crying, please."
― "I'm sorry..."
― "You don't need to. I'm hungry... Do you want something to eat ?"
― "Sure."

So we got up and walked in the kitchen. My eyes glared at the microwave; it was noon. Damn, we slept a lot...

I took a look at the fridge; nothing. There was nothing. I think my parents forget the existence of grocery stores, which is a bad thing because I'll end up dying from hunger, but seriously, I don't really care, because the only thing I want to eat is Kevin. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, pervert Kiseop is back again ! Hmmm Kevin, you're delicious.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OKAY NO.

― "Uh, there's like... nothing. Sorry.", I apologized from the lack of food.
― "Ah... Well that's okay."

I sat on the table and looked at him; he looked back, a deep silence separating us two.

― "Hey... I don't know if I already told you this, but your lips look so smooth."

I felt my face flushing red as soon as I heard these words.

― "Uh... Ummm..." Come on, say something, you dumbass. (my brain really hates me, it won't let me speak properly) "Uhhhhh..."

I hate this ! I thought I was born with the ability to speak like any normal human being, but apparently I was wrong. In critical situations, the only thing I can say is "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh", which is... not so practical.

― "You're blushing !"
― "N-no I'm not. It's because... uh... uhhhhhh... I have uh... uh... temperature." (Insert a fake cough that doesn't have any credibility here)

He moved my bangs away and pressed the back of his hand against my forehead.

― "Pffffff ! No, you don't." (Screw you. Screw my inability to lie. Screw everything.)

Kevin went closer to me, smiling, and leaned down, his hands grabbing the kitchen table, but... He did nothing. He just stared at me. And stuff. So I just looked back awkwardly.

― "Uhhh... Do I have s-something on my face... o-or... what ?"
― "You don't need to be shy, I won't eat you."

Pervert Kiseop speaking here : Oh, eat me, baby. Ahhh~

… I hate Pervert Kiseop.

― "Uhhhh... Okay."
― "Heh.", he giggled and smirked.

Heh.

Heh.

Why "heh" ? Was it a giggle or a hiccup ? Yeah, who cares, it was cute.

… Heh. Heh ! Heh ?

Heh !!!!!!!!!

I think it's my new obsession. Heh~

― "S-stop staring at me.", I requested. No, seriously, it's weird when someone's just looking at you smiling like... like... like I don't know, okay.
― "Nah~"
― "You have a staring problem."

NEW RECORD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I said something without having it being a huge flop !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dududun !!!!!!!

I'm the best ! Wooh !

Hmmmmm, no, maybe not. But I'm still pretty amazing, right ? No ? Oh okay.

― "Hey, this is weird, but..." The blonde boy chuckled and look down, his cheeks gaining a bright red colour.

So who's blushing now, huh~ ? (P.S. : Heh.)

― "Kiseop, I want to kiss you."

What wait when where why how did it happen.

Feeling that I fell off a plane without a parachute.

Feeling that my inner organs exploded and are flying all around the house. (SERIOUS EW-NESS)

Feeling that everything just disappeared suddenly.

Feeling that my heart stopped beating for a couple of seconds.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh oh god oh god oh god what just happened here. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. WHAT IS GOING ON ?

― "W-w-w-w-what !?" There goes the stuttering again... "You want to k--" I got interrupted by Kevin's lips crushing on mine.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

I'd write this on a page forever.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. FUCKING WOW.

He kisses like... like... like... like I don't know, something that kisses really good. Really really really really really really good.

The kiss got more and more passionate as time passed by; our tongues began to dance with each other, fighting for dominance as we breathed out occasional moans and pulled ourselves closer and closer to each other. Damn, it was just fantastic, hot, amazing, incredible, sexy, extraordinary and fuck-it-I'm-out-of-adjectives.

To add in to-do-list : Find more adjectives to describe a kiss.

To add in to-do-list #2 : Improve my knowledge of the English vocabulary.

― "WHAT THE !?!?!?!"

We brutally broke up the kiss and--

Oh fuck.